i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
