Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
