I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
