It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
