Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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