And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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