They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
