when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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