Tell her she can't have a vagina
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
