I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
