guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize