life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize