i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
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All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
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First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.