plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
two words: eviction party
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
