you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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