I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
