we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Farmville is her only friend.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
