He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
