Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
