Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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