you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
