So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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