Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize