I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
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my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
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If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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