everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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