He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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