I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
