After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
