hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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