we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
