Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize