I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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