How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
