Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
