wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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