Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
