I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
