She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize