I accidentally had phone sex last night
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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