Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
