Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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