You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
