she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
