do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
