He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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