Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
kristin has been a bad kristin
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
