I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
