3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
