When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
