yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
