Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
