you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
