So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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