so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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