Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
