How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
