i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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