she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
