I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
