apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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