so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
