I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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