maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
