I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
