If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
