then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
as a side note pls kill me
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
