My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
