there's paper in my vomit.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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