Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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